stolen pride

Posted in Brutal Honesty with tags , , , , , , , , on July 27, 2010 by addictmagnet
You needed someone to help you through

And the lies you told were so smooth

I was different from all the others

We were meant for only each other

So how did you choose me to ease your pain

And why did I let my guard down so easily

And where did you learn to play this game

And when will my pride be regained

Your eyes looked right into my soul

Your words distracted, my heart you stole

So I am classier and I’m platinum

Well I feel gullible and I feel dumb

So how did you choose me to ease your pain

And why did I let my guard down so easily

And where did you learn to play this game

And when will my pride be regained

You paraded me around and I met your friends

Now I can’t go anywhere without running into them

We hung out at the pub and the best place in town

We went on a holiday then you let me down

So how did you choose me to ease your pain

And why did I let my guard down so easily

And where did you learn to play this game

And when will my pride be regained

So now you want to be my friend, not for it to be the end

And I’m suppose to be ok and I’m not suppose to show my pain

And now you play the game with someone new

And I am suppose to smile when I look at you

At night while they kiss and caress you

I lay awake crying silent tears missing you

So how did you choose me to ease your pain

And why did I let my guard down so easily

And where did you learn to play this game

And when will my pride be regained

Lyrics by JRD – Music by Steve Shabala copyrighted 7/27/2010

passion

Posted in Brutal Honesty with tags , , , , , , , on May 17, 2010 by addictmagnet
With you it’s brand new

My passions are aroused

The need consumes me

I feel awakened from the dead

Indulge my sensual pleasures

Softly touch my skin

Gently kiss my lips

Use your tongue to taste and explore

Neck, breasts, thighs, and more

I will pleasure you as well

I want to taste my sweetness

on your lips and fingers

Taste the saltiness of you

I want to discover you

The places that arouse you

Touch, nibble and lick those places

Drive you crazy with my mouth and tongue

Kissing harder now with wanting

And as we two become one

I want to feel you deep inside me

Slowly, rhythmically moving together

Almost desperate with the need

Unable to contain the gasps and moans

As we take each other to the brink

Then climax, holding each other

Not wanting to let go

constant

Posted in Brutal Honesty with tags , , , , , , , on May 16, 2010 by addictmagnet

“Be slow to fall into friendship; but when thou art in, continue firm and constant.”
– Socrates, Greek Philosopher

 
It would have started with hair pulling and chasing each other on the playground had they met in elementary school. In junior high he tried to look cool to impress the shy, insecure girl. She teased the awkward, gangly boy. In high school they ran in different circles. There was the occasional hello or nod in the hallways, and once a ride home. Several years later they ran into each other and began to date. They were too young for anything serious. They continued to see other people. But they really enjoyed each other. They spent time with each others families. He treated her daughter like his own. Holidays were spent together. And it slowly turned into an exclusive relationship. He broadened her horizons. She learned about music from him. She learned a lot about herself from him. She hoped he gained something from the relationship too. They lived together for a while but neither was ready for that kind of commitment. They were still too young. The funny thing is they remained friends. Even went out on occasion. Twenty odd years has passed and they are still friends. Keeping in touch with phone calls and Christmas cards, emails and online. She calls him when she needs advice or to vent. He calls when he gets a new job or a new girl. They are the best of friends, and honest with each other as only true friends can be. They are constant.

 

intimacy

Posted in Brutal Honesty with tags , , , , , , , on May 12, 2010 by addictmagnet

We have all heard it said, “They have an intimate relationship.”  Or, “They have been intimate.”  But do they, have they?  Intimacy is not achieved through sex.  Sex can be intimate, but is not inherently intimate.  Intimacy is achieved through trust and honesty. You must relinquish your fear and allow someone to know what’s in your mind, heart, and soul.  You must accept someone as they are, including their flaws.   You must be able to forgive the sins of your partner, and trust they will forgive yours.  Only then is true intimacy achieved.  I feel cheated.  I have been in a twenty year relationship with someone who was never able to trust me.  I always thought how sad that he cannot trust.  It wasn’t until recently that I realized he refused to trust me.  Although I never did anything to make him distrust me, he kept us from being truly intimate.

waiting for the other shoe

Posted in Brutal Honesty with tags , , , , , , , on May 11, 2010 by addictmagnet

He’s kind and courteous

He’s a gentleman and smart

He has a house and a business

He likes sports and the arts

He has nice friends who are nice to me

He treats me like a lady and always pays

He’s trustworthy and honest

He touches me just the right way

Why am I so comfortable so soon

Why am I nervous waiting for the other shoe…

she was tired

Posted in Brutal Honesty with tags , , , , , , , on May 8, 2010 by addictmagnet

She was tired.  She tried to hold it up, but her life had come tumbling down.  She fell.  And, like Alice down the rabbit hole, she just kept falling.  When she finally reached bottom, she didn’t recognize where she was.  She didn’t know how she got there.  She didn’t recognize who she had become.  She was the one who always kept it together.  The one who took the high road, except on a few very rare occasions.  She was the strong one,the care giver.  She took care of it all, made sure everyone else was comfortable.  Somewhere along the way she had stopped caring for herself, lost herself.  She didn’t like who she was anymore.  Wondered if she had time to find herself.  She was tired.  If she could sleep maybe things would become clearer.  Never enough sleep.  She wanted to sleep and not wake up to this mess.  “God please just take me” she prayed.  She did not want to hurt her family and friends.  Every day she kept thinking “I cannot do this…it will hurt my kids too much, my parents will not understand” Until, finally, even those thoughts could not stop her.  She could no longer endure the pain.  She went to bed took the pills and went to sleep.  She left no note.  She felt no need to explain.  It was obvious.  Wasn’t it?  She doesn’t remember waking up, or most of that day.  Emergency room, doctors, upset family.  She begged to be admitted.  They sent her home.  And, she slept.  When she woke up with a headache and bruised, she was told she had taken two spills before anyone realized what she had done.  And, feeling more of a failure than ever, the real work would begin.  A psychologist weekly and psychiatrist monthly.  And, a plan to get her life back began to take shape.  And, her family gathered around to protect her.  She moved in with her Dad and began to heal.  She began pouring out her soul to a machine.  She began eating better, and exercising.  She began listening to music again.  Every day she gets a little more of herself back.  And she keeps working on becoming the person she wants to be.  She is ready to be selfish.  To respect herself.  She worries less about the future and is happy with today.  And she thanks God for not answering those pleas, but instead bringing her home.

senses

Posted in Brutal Honesty with tags , , , , , , on May 5, 2010 by addictmagnet
Oh, to touch
To feel his hand slip into mine
His arm around me
His hand in the small of my back
Or on my knee

Oh, to smell
The scent of each other mix
Cologne and perfume
And our breaths intermingled
The scent of musk

Oh, to taste
The flavor of his mouth and tongue
Or his bottom lip
My lips and tongue on his neck
Sucking fingers

Oh, to hear
His breath in my ear, on my neck
Catching myself gasp
When he shivers in response
Whispered moaning

Oh, to feel
The tingles as my body stirs
Electricity
The shivers up my spine
Bodies longing

Oh, the need
My body screams out for more
Needs to be caressed
Wants his hands on me again
Needs skin on skin

Oh, senses
Senses sending signals to continue
It feels so damn good
Common sense is interrupting
Urging go slow

rough draft