Archive for personal

email manipulator

Posted in Brutal Honesty with tags , , , , , , , on February 16, 2011 by addictmagnet

you know exactly how you arouse me…

with just a few words my body tingles,

my mind empties of all thoughts but you…

I spend too much time daydreaming,

wondering what it will be like to be held by you…

too many nights dreaming of you,

I can practically feel your kiss and caress…

and try as I may I cannot rationalize,

this need so strong that we must meet

make believe

Posted in Brutal Honesty with tags , , , , , , , on January 20, 2011 by addictmagnet

it’s all just make believe

love has never been real

 

it’s an optical illusion

I will see what isn’t there

 

I breath deep the scent of you

you leave and it lingers still

 

it’s a laugh track

you say what I want to hear

 

I taste your sweet lips

but I swallow a bitter pill

 

and, like with any drug

I cannot trust what I feel

 

because it’s just make believe

love is not real

 

JRD 1-20-2011

 

angry

Posted in Brutal Honesty with tags , , , , , , , on January 16, 2011 by addictmagnet

I don’t love you, never loved you

but I did care

now I’m just angry

angry that you refuse to communicate

angry that you not communicating caused this

angry that you called me a liar

angry that you don’t trust me

angry that you felt the need to check up on me

angry that you wouldn’t open the door

angry that you won’t talk to me face to face

angry that I made a fool of myself

angry that you are a coward

angry because when we stumbled you turned and ran

angry that I cared for a boy not a man

you never gave us a chance

I don’t love you, never loved you

but I did care…

JRD 1-16-2011

truth

Posted in Brutal Honesty with tags , , , , , , , , , , on November 21, 2010 by addictmagnet

what’s wrong with you

why not just tell me what’s on your mind

why don’t you believe me

you can’t hurt me with the truth

I’ve never lied to you

I’m honest in words and deeds

I’ve kept our secrets to myself

yet you insist on cold silence

when I question your intentions

why do you only evade

I must know our friendship will endure

when we find the one’s we’re waiting for

why can’t you understand the fear

I might misinterpret and cause you pain

I will always want happiness for you

so why don’t you believe me

you can’t hurt me with the truth

JRD 11/21/1020

Ron Sexsmith – Still Time

Posted in Brutal Honesty with tags , , , , , on September 11, 2010 by addictmagnet

Ron Sexsmith – Still Time.

I feel this song is very appropriate, as I continue to rebuild my life.  I hope it inspires and gives hope to all of you!

sorry for my absence…. here is something short, sweet, and fun as I ease back into blogging

Posted in Brutal Honesty with tags , , , , , , on September 8, 2010 by addictmagnet

All my life I have put others before myself to the detriment of my physical, mental, and emotional well being.  Parents, siblings, friends, boyfriends, husbands, children… when it came to the decisions in my life… I always asked myself “how is this going to effect (fill in the blank)”. (Yes, I have made selfish decisions in my life, and mistakes.  Though, more often then not I based my choices on the effect they will have on others.)  But not anymore, this is the beginning of a new chapter in my life! I come first! I am my priority! How can I be the best for my family and friends, if I do not make an effort to be the best I can be for myself. So I say to all of you (and me) pamper yourself, enjoy your life, live, love, laugh, eat, sleep, dance, sing. Don’t try to do it all, but make what you do the best it can be! And follow your own heart, soul, and dreams… not somebody else’s idea of what they should be!  Make your life what you want it to be, and do so without guilt!  God Bless!  I’ll be back soon.

light of life

Posted in Brutal Honesty with tags , , , , , , , , on July 27, 2010 by addictmagnet
Was never going to be a mother, had a bigger and better plan
I loved your father, but he’s a troubled soul so forgive him if you can

Wasn’t raising you with cocaine on the table and roaches in ashtrays

Held you in my arms as the smoke cleared and was able to see through the haze

it’s the light that takes me over

it’s the light that sets me free

it’s the light of life that’s inside of me

I left to make a better life for us, I did the best that I could do

He left, we never saw him again, I was too good for him, so are you

Got the job, ‘cause I got the degree, got the support of my family

Going to show everyone all I need is you and all you need is me

it’s the light that takes me over

it’s the light that sets me free

it’s the light of life that’s inside of me

I have a secret, you are the best mistake I ever made

You are much stronger and more beautiful than any plans I could’ve laid

You grew into such a smart and funny child, and precocious as they come

I know I was often tough on you, it’s me you needed to escape from

And you went away and saw hard times too but you succeeded in the end

Your are my pride and joy, you are my heart and soul, and now you are my friend

it’s the light that takes me over

it’s the light that sets me free

it’s the light of life that’s inside of me

You’re the light of life that shines inside of me

Lyrics JRD – Music Steve Shabala copyright 7/27/2010